A Cold Tuesday Brrrr

The Fool coloring from Paint By Number Card #2

Hello,

 Another late night. And one that has turned cold. Not cold as in New England cold but for us it is much colder than it has been in several days.

 I hope that it will still be nice enough to sit outside and enjoy my morning coffee like it has been. I think that I am spoiled now from enjoying all that sunshine and warm days.

 Stormy is fussing. I am not sure what he is wanting but he is laying under my feet and meowing his little head off and every once in a while he reaches up and nips the calves of my legs. He is being a stinker for sure. He is not hungry, he doesn't need to go potty and he has a dish of water. I think that he is trying to tell me he wants to go to bed and I am not cooperating. He likes to tell me when I need to go to bed lol. Cisco use to do that. I have a feeling that I really spoil my little fur friends and that they in turn want me to go to bed so we can cuddle.

 Foxy is much better today. I am so glad that she is. She is sleeping on my pillow right now. Actually she is sleeping between my two pillows. She loves to burrow under anything soft. Pillows, blankets, clothes. Anything that she can burrow under is bliss for her.

 Oliver is on his blanket in front of the sofa. Miss Edna Olly will not be banished to the garage. Just at meal times. No need to worry. He will either be with me or in the room with Nathan. I would say that depends on where Foxy is sleeping but all 3 of them are bunking down with me tonight. Ha...

 I didn't get a chance to talk to Rosie today. Laurie and David's phone went dead today and I loaned them my phone as they needed GPS navigation to go some where and didn't know how to get to where they were going so I let them use my phone. By the time that they got home I had a few other things that I needed to do and then it was to late to try and get in touch with her.

 

 Matthew flew into Reno yesterday to see his kids and I spoke to him just as he was getting his luggage and then going to get his rental car.

 He said he would call me later. Well Courtney spoke to him around 12:30 and he said he was going to go and get Alex and then come pick up Celeste and they were going to the park.

 He never showed up to get Celeste. His phone was off and all calls just going over to voicemail. He wasn't online and so tonight after Courtney got off work we started calling hospitals, jails and anyone else we could get in touch with. 

 It was nerve wracking and I still have not talked to him. But Courtney called me and said that he did reply to a text message and so I passed this information on to my kids and I felt better that he had text her even tho the text message was really strange.

 Courtney text him and asked... "Are you okay"? and she said he text her back with "Yep..." and she said she was like what was up with that message so she replied "...?' and hadn't received another message before she had to go to bed. 

 I was happy to know that he finally responded until my daughter said Mom anyone could have sent that message. No one has still not talked to him and heard his voice.

 So here I am sitting in front of my computer instead of sleeping at 1:15 in the morning. 

 We all agree that this does not sound like Matthew. He was supposed to pick up his kids and go to the park. Why would he just not show up? 

 He knew that I wanted to talk to Alex and he didn't call me. I just don't understand and I probably will not rest easily until I do hear from him. 

 At least I know that he isn't in the hospital because Courtney contacted all 3 of the hospitals in Reno.

 Alex's mom Deanna contacted the jails in case he was arrested for some odd reason. 

 Courtney and Deanna both called the hotel he had booked but he wasn't at that hotel and trying to call all the hotels is just not feasible. 

 If I find out that he is just goofing off I am going to be one mad Mama.

 However Deanna, Courtney and I all agree that this is not like Matthew. He was only going to be there for 4 days so he would want to spend as much time with the kids as he could.

 So I am just going to hope that all is well. There isn't anything that I can do besides to just pray that he is alright and that things will work out for the better and all will be ok. At least that is what I keep telling myself.

 I had to call and make an appointment to see my Dermatologist because I have a spot on my inner thigh that has become swollen and has turned black.

 I first noticed the small bump a couple of years ago and I asked my doctor to take a look at it and she said it was just a skin tag and nothing to worry about.

 Last year when I had a couple of moles taken off my Dermatologist agreed that it was nothing to be concerned about. The last week or so the area had become sensitive and sore. It is in a spot that I cannot see but I put some antibiotic cream on it but it wasn't helping and I couldn't figure out why it was so sore.

 Day before yesterday I had Karyn look at it and she was like "Mom it is really swollen and black".  

 She said for me to call my doctor and make an appointment. 

 Later when I was getting ready to take my shower I accidently scratched it and it hurt like crazy so I called Laurie in to look and make sure that I didn't pull it off and if it was infected and she freaked out. 

 She took pictures so I could see and I am really scared because this thing does not look good at all. It has swollen to the size of a large pea, it is very black and it is an odd color around the black spot.

 I hope that this is harmless but I am concerned that it could be cancerous. My daddy had skin cancer that spread. He worked in the hot sun for years and it started on his nose and spread to his mouth, and then to his ear.

 They had to remove a lot of his upper lip and half of his ear and the doctors believed that when they removed the bottom portion of his ear that it spread to his lungs.

 I had two spots on my nose that they had to remove a few years ago and last year when I went back for my yearly examination it had come back so they took a small biopsy but it came back alright. 

 

 I haven't told this to anyone, not even my kids but when I went to see my doctor a couple of weeks ago and go over my labs she told me that I am spilling protein into my urine. 

 This is not good. In fact I have a appointment scheduled with my Nephrologist (kidney specialist) for the 23rd and I am not sure what can be done.

 I have cut most all meat out of my diet to try and limit the protein but right now I am so hungry and it is really hard to find things to eat because carbs turn to sugar and that affects my blood sugar so my Endocrinologist (diabetic specialist) wants me to cut out as much carbs as possible and eat more protein and my kidney doctor wants me to have no protein so I am just eating vegetables practically 3 times a day. 

 Anyway my doctor told me the other day that she suspects I will have to be on dialysis in the next few months. Since I only have the one kidney I will not have any options. 

 I am not eligible for a transplant because of the diabetes and my age. 

 I haven't told my kids or anyone. I am voicing it here. I have had a lot of stress lately and things just seem to spiral out of control for me and I try to keep busy to keep from thinking of everything that is going on with me. 

 I guess that I will know more on the 23rd what the plan will be next. Also I see about this black thing the next day on the 24th so until I know more I am keeping this news to myself before I tell the kids.

 So for now I will close and see what else I can do to relax and try to get some sleep. 

 Take care of yourself my friends and I will try to do the same... BB