Monday, April 30, 2018

Life Happens!

My Granddaughter Cathy. I found this beauty in my shutterfly account and had forgotten about it. This photo and page is about 4 years old. She has always loved hats. I think this one looks great on her.

 It has been a while and I am sorry for that but life does get in the way of some things and blogging was one of them. I just haven't felt well and have not been on the computer. Plus you all know that my house is totally chaotic during the weekends. This weekend was no different.

 We had company, a leak from the third floor apartment flowed into the second floor and into our apartment around 1:00 in the morning. This was a mess, especially for the lady on the second floor. We helped as much as possible. Then we had to deal with our own mess.

 I have been having problems with my neck and shoulder so I cannot extend my arms out towards the key board very long at a time. It has been really painful and so sometimes a simple email will cause my pain to really get worse. I have to have something done about this because it is causing more and more aggravation and I can't do the little things that I want to do because it starts hurting so bad and then it takes a while to get over the pain. Heating pads, ice packs, creams and as a last resort a pain pill. The pain medication makes me woozy and foggy so I try not to take them until I have to. I try Tylenol first. Tho the doctors really limit me on Tylenol because of my kidney but I do take it first in hopes that it will help.

 I guess that Jonathan is working late tonight. He just called me but I forgot to ask but he said he was really swamped with the end of the month reports and it didn't sound like he was going to be coming home at 5:00 and it is 5:00 pm now.
 I haven't seen or heard from Karyn as she is back into the office working. Her staff blew their chance from working from home so she brought those that were not working back into the office. It really frustrates her to have to (Baby Sit) grown adults who cannot be responsible for their work at home so she said ok your back in the office so you can be monitored as your not completing your work at home.

 Matthew is Matthew. He is trying to take care of his room mate and to try and work too.  We were going to go see Sasha on Saturday but couldn't make it because his room mate's sugar kept dropping and he couldn't leave him alone.
 I called to check on her this morning. They said she is not playing or eating. Not a good sign. They are giving her antibiotics and  I have been worried about her. 

 Well nothing new is going on here. The weather is acting weird. It looks like we are in for some stormy weather so I am going to close and shut down the pc just in case we get an electrical storm.

 Oh speaking of PC's.... Windows just announced a HUGE update that will take place between now and May 8th. The last one took over 24 hours to complete on my computer. So if your computer is not one of the newer ones like mine, then expect to be offline for a while. I hope that mine does the update in the middle of the night and does not take as long as the fall update did.

 I will leave you now and wish you all a wonderful start to a new week and for some of you a great start to a new month.... BB

Thursday, April 26, 2018

One Year Today

The kit I used for this page is called Out Of The Blues by my friend Bloggs who was a part of our old group. We just loved her little freebies. This is my brother James. He was in the Navy.

Good Afternoon,
 I hope that all are doing well, and are having a great Friday. I am fine. I had a very restless night last night and was just falling asleep this morning as my son was getting ready for work. 

 My brother passed away one year ago today. I just cannot believe that it has been a whole year already.
 I know that you must have seen this picture a lot of times but my family was not big picture takers. I don't have that many of any of my siblings or mom and dad. 
 We lost a lot of the ones my mom did have in a cedar chest she had along with albums and baby books and things when a tornado ripped our home apart back in the mid 70's. 
 Thankfully my sister had some photos, so we are very lucky to have what we have. 

 Forgive me for not posting in a while. I have had a lot going on and I didn't even turn my computer on for 3 days. So unlike me but I had really good reasons for not doing so. I just felt so bad for one and a couple of doctor appointments and of course the unsettling things that I have been going thru.

 Karyn is not working here for the time being. Her staff were not doing their work so now they have to be supervised. It means everyone was punished for a few lazy people who worked from home but obviously was not working. Who knows what they were doing, but now they are all back in the office until they can show that they are responsible enough to take their work seriously.

 Jonathan is taking me for my eye injection today and then from there he will drop me off at home and get me settled and then he will go back to work. I will be home alone so I will take my meds and sleep off the pain. It has to be that way because it hurts so badly that in order to get thru the after pain, sleeping is the best that I can do. I have to go because Jonathan just called and he is 10 minutes away.
 Hugs to all and I hope to catch up really soon. In a couple of days I am sure... Take care everyone and remember today is a new day, a clean slate. Enjoy your Thursday..... BB

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Our Little Boy Lost His Battle

Another page of  Matthew and I in Braintree Mass. 

 I pulled this from an older stash, my mind is not working properly at the moment. 
 My nephew and his wife took their baby boy Jaxson off of life support last night. He passed away at 12:35 this morning.
Our hearts are broken because he was doing so well, then his kidneys failed. He passed away 4 years to the day that his grandmother was laid to rest and in 2 days on the 20th will be my brother's 1 year death anniversary. It has been so hard.

 Another sad thing is that I got a call from the center early this morning. My little Sasha has tested positive for heartworms and it will be at least 3 months before she will be available for adoption if she survives the initial treatment.  So I have a lot going on with me today and none of it is happy. My heart is sad on so very many levels I just don't know what to do or say or anything. I am so heartbroken for my family and for my niece and nephew and for Sasha. I just can't think straight. And I miss my brother.... 

 I got pictures yesterday from my niece of my brothers grave site. She has put out flowers (poppies) and in the middle is a solar light that shines during the night. A new flag and a beautiful red white and blue eagle. 
 I am so thankful that she takes the time to do this for my brother. I wish that I could take a trip out there but it is so far away. The same for my mom and dad and my niece. Gosh my heart is so full of sadness today and I will let you go for now. I just can't keep talking about this today and have nothing to share that is much uplifting.... BB


Monday, April 16, 2018

I Am Sorry There Was No Part 2

My Matthew..... I hope that he starts feeling better soon... 

Good Morning,
 Ohhh I was so exhausted when I got home on Saturday and then Karyn and I were supposed to grocery shop but I was just to exhausted to even think about going.
 As you know Matthew and I went to the animal center and we found a little girl. Oh is she a doll....
 I cannot bring her home yet as she has to have some medical needs taken care of first. She has to be spayed, her shots, microchipped as well as blood work and if she passes all of her exams, I can go and get her. 
 Oreo was adopted. Even after I called and told them to hold him that I was coming for him. I don't know what kind of mix up it was but I will be delighted to have this little girl.
 Cross your fingers and toes that everything turns out ok... 

 Karyn, Jonathan and I have been so busy. Seriously busy yesterday. We loaded up all of our laundry, including bedding and then we went and got Karyn's laundry and went next door and I started mine first. Pillows and blankets. So when they were done I could put them in the dryer and wait for the white blankets and the sheets.
 Meanwhile, Jonathan was here sweeping and mopping and doing some much needed cleaning. After he was done he came over and folded his and Nathan's laundry. It was beyond me at this point. I was exhausted. By the time that we unloaded everything, Karyn and I got back in the car and went over to In and Out burgers and got all 3 of us some food. I made my plate and collapsed into a chair and Jonathan and I watched Guardian's Of The Galaxy 2.... Ohhhh it was so good. I loved watching Baby Groot....
 He is such an adorable little fellow. Do you remember the planter that you found of Baby Groot Miss Edna?

 After it was over  Jonathan helped me make my bed and I told Jonathan I was taking my night meds and going to bed. I had just swallowed my pills and got comfortable when my phone buzzed. I opened the video chat and my precious granddaughter was on and said... Nanna... (She is the only one that calls me Nanna) and she had to tell me everything that she was doing. Her mama let her hold the tablet so she told me she was a big girl. Only she wouldn't stay still lol. So her mom started holding it for her.
 She had to show me her post card that I sent from Florida. It has Tinker Bell on it in gold glitter. It is hanging on her wall... 
 We chatted until she wanted to color me a page. I was yawning so bad that I finally had to hang up and I fell straight to sleep. 
 I woke up this morning with my bed really low on air. We haven't been able to find the leak so I am going bed shopping on the first. I just pray that it will last that long.... please, please, please last until the first Bed...

 I am having some coffee and then I am going to take care of a few things that need to be done and I am going back to bed. I didn't want to get up but I had to have breakfast and my insulin so I got up and then I said well I might as well catch up on my blog since I didn't on Saturday. 
 I really thought that I was going to be bringing Oreo home.... it sort of deflated me a little bit but after seeing this little girl... well I have been over the moon. If I can get her I think that I will name her Sasha. I have had a zillion names come to mind. At first I was wanting a C name after Cisco so I chose Chloe, Cammy, Carly, etc but none of them felt right. I am not sure when Sasha came to mind but I thought... Ohhh I like that and it fits her. 
 This shelter is huge. There is a lot of walking to get from the parking lot to the main building. I met a lot of cute little girls and guys and some kittens even and a bigger cat named Sophie. She has been with this man since she was born. He brings her every week with him to the shelter. She was a cutie. Lots of people would bring their dogs. I am not sure why. Maybe they have classes or something. I am not sure. 

 Anyway I have to get off here. The day is not getting any younger... Have a fantastic Monday... BB
 I hope this post will post.... Blogger just crashed... well it is a Monday...

Saturday, April 14, 2018

A Double Post Today!!!!

 This page is of my friend Patsy's grandson. Photos used with permission. The kit used is called "My Baby Boy" designed by Bellisima Designs. You can go to her stores with these links.

Good Morning,
 This is going to be a short post and later on today I am going to make another post so be watching for it.
 My son Matthew and I are going to the animal center here and check out a little guy named Oreo! Sooooo I will be posting pics and updating my post so please check back in.

 Matthew is not feeling well but he really wants to take me to the animal shelter. He has a kidney infection and he went to the doctor yesterday and they gave him some antibiotics. I hope that he feels better soon. 

 WOE is my bed. It really does have a leak. I awoke this morning almost on the floor. We were going to look for the leak yesterday but he was feeling so bad I put off going one more day, but today it has to be fixed. I don't have the money for a new bed. I wouldn't have this one if Matthew had not bought it for me. I should just get a regular bed and box springs but if this one can be fixed then I want to keep it.

 I could not find a link to the direct website for Bellisima Designs. It kept taking me to Facebook. I did not apply all of the links to this page because there are a lot of them. I know that these 3 stores are good ones so that is why I chose them.

 Ok I have one other thing to share... Remember how I said that we have kids from the heart. We might not have given birth to them but they develop a place in a mothers heart.
 This is one of those kids. I have been really lucky as Kevin flew in from Ohio yesterday and spent time with us and then today in walks another kid close to my heart. This is Jay...

I was so excited to see him. Jay moved to Dallas to take a new job and I haven't seen him in about 6 months. But hopefully I will be seeing him more as he moved back to Austin. So I have been Blessed twice. Hopefully I will be Blessed at the animal shelter today as well.

 Ok so I gotta go..... Have a wonderful day to all.... BB

Thursday, April 12, 2018

One Day Closer To The Weekend

My sister Linda and her grandson Bryce when he was a baby. always has tons of free little mini kits or embellishments. This is where I got these bits and bobs.

Good Morning,
 It is early for me this morning. I have been up since around 6:30 this morning. Jonathan or Nathan's alarm went off and I actually heard it. I guess because I was sleeping so restless anyway.

 Have you ever been to tired to sleep? That was what happened to me yesterday. I was quiet busy and I met my new friend at the office and we talked to the manager and it was a nice and informative conversation. Since the manager is one of my favorite people we chatted about a lot of things. 
 Then I gave Karen the tour of our complex. 

 I had walked to the office but she drove me back home and still we chatted and chatted. Jonathan called checking on me and then Nathan called to check on me.... I was like... why today? They never call to check on me haha. Well Jonathan does if he knows that I am home alone, but Nathan was home so it was a surprise call. We finally parted and then I did a few things around here as it was garbage day, I got it bagged up after tossing a lot of stuff that has been laying around. 

 Jonathan gets a game magazine but never reads it. It was a free subscription for purchasing a game. I have tried to give them away but no one wants them so I tore the address off and chunked them in the trash, along with some sale papers and expired coupons. Tomorrow I will clear out the fridge. I forgot to do that yesterday and regretted it after Jonathan and I got back from grocery shopping.

 I had suspected that Cisco had put a hole in my air mattress and now I am sure that he did. I have to get a spray bottle today and put in some soapy water and spray it down to find out where it is and patch it. After we had to throw my bed out Matthew bought this one for me and it is so comfortable that I decided to keep it. I hope that I can find the leak and repair it. I really like it a lot. It is bigger than a full, but smaller than a queen so it is just the right size. Although Cisco never thought so. He and I would fight over the bed lol... A great memory. I wish that he and I could still fight over him hogging the bed. Little stinker.

 I really enjoyed my visit with Karen yesterday. She showed me some pictures of her property and they are really pretty. She is going to share them with me when she has time. But Cisco is resting among so many beautiful flowers, some Sham Rock that blooms white flowers. Mine bloomed purple. She is going to bring me some of the plants and I will put them in pots. I wish I could remember all the names of them.
 They found a rat snake climbing the tree the other day where the bird feeder was hanging so they moved the bird feeder. They don't believe in killing anything, not even poisonous things. 
 I know a rat snake is good to keep rodents away but they like bird eggs too so in my book I would have taken the snake to another property. They are not poisonous to us. They are just freaky.... Yikes... 

 I really messed up last night and put my bacon in the freezer so I am having to defrost it.  I am having a BLT with an egg. I can't have the tomato so I will put a bit of egg on it. So I guess it is really a BLE hahaha.... I also bought some crackers that I can have with my sandwich if I want them but I don't know if I do or not. My appetite hasn't been the same since Florida. I am just not hungry.

 I have to do laundry today. I am out of clean towels and dish towels as well. I found some really nice ones last night, a pack of 4 for $2.00 and some dish cloths for the same price. That is just .50 cents a piece so I caught a bargain. I have used this brand before. 

 I have to go. I have to get ready for the doctor and so I need to eat and shower. Have an awesome day to all.... BB

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Is It Really Wednesday?

Another page for my sister that I will add to her plannerr that I did a long while ago. My computer crashed a couple of years ago and I lost so much and I have no idea what kits I used for this but I was so lucky that it came up in my Facebook memories the other day. Thanks for looking.

 I just cannot believe that today is Wednesday. I am feeling extra tired and wonder if my potassium levels are up again. I go for blood tests tomorrow so they will be sure to check it. Then I have my yearly physical on May 3rd and have a notebook filled with questions and I need answers to. 

 I am not reading that Fire and Fury in the White House book. It is just so NEGATIVE.... I wanted to read something informative and good, but not this book. I will be taking it to the library soon. 
 The other book is good but not really what I am looking for. But it is interesting enough that I can read a few chapters at night before bed. I am not sure what I want to read. Not a romance, not a thriller, but something...
 Oh gosh what I would love to have a chance to read a new Erma Bombeck book again. I cried when she passed. I felt like I lost a dear friend. She would keep me laughing and I was always in a lighter mood after I finished one of her books. Too bad that there isn't many authors like her left.

 I am meeting the lady today that picked up Cisco and we are going to the front office to give some cards to the office to put out for people that might lose there pets. So many people have no idea what to do when they live in a big city. I hope that this process she has will help others. It was a comfort to me to know that Cisco would be handled with as much care and compassion that was possible.

 I really hate to just up and run, but I need to get a shower and do a few things before I have to leave for the office. I will leave you with a few funnies or some chuckles I found over the internet. Enjoy and have a very awesome day.... BB

 I hope that this brought a smile to your face.... BB

Monday, April 9, 2018

I Am Here Somewhat... Happy Monday!

This is an old scrap page. It is made with one of the kits that came with my Daisy Trail group. They are no longer in business. It was a sad day when they closed down. This is my grandson Alex.

Good Morning,
 So sorry that I haven't been online in the last 3 days or so. Not since my last post. I did have a flare up and then a combination of a cold and stomach bug. I turned the corner about 6:00 pm last night. I was able to get up and take a shower. Jonathan made sure that I had something to eat. He made me chicken noodle soup. He makes the best ever. I am feeling a little better. Good thing that I bought those Puff's awhile back. I sure needed them.

 We keep seeing signs of Cisco all over the place. Little reminders here and there. Jonathan came in from work the other day and came straight to my room. Out of habit as he would always come to my room and ask Cisco if he wanted to go out, and it broke my heart to see the look cross his face when he realized Cisco wasn't here with me. Habits, especially so many years of habits are hard when they are suddenly gone. 
 We still have his leash on the table next to the door, his food bowls are up on the microwave. I need to put them away. I will leave the leash for the boys to do what they want to with it when the time is right for them. 

 News is really short here as it was a quiet weekend. Nathan was called into work Friday and he will be finished with his shift tonight and will be off tomorrow and Wednesday. Jonathan and Karyn both had to work Saturday.  Nathan looked very tired last night when he came in from work. I expect him to finally get some sleep tonight and tomorrow. Jonathan is tired too. His boss had knee surgery. She is out of the office probably the entire month. 
 Karyn is really busy too as her boss is out for the month as she had surgery too. Funny that they both work in different offices but both Supervisors had surgery at the same time. I say the same time, but the same week and same month. So they are both sort of swamped right now.

 I expect Nathan to get called into work more frequently because they are short handed at the moment. I really hope they do not change his schedule. It is a comfort to me to know he is here or when Karyn is here, but since her supervisor is out she will not be here most of the month if any. 

 I had plans this weekend to take my night stand and put in my bathroom along with my small bookshelf so I would have more room in my bathroom. With the bookshelf my door will not open up all the way but I don't need for it to. It will open plenty for me to get in and out and it is small enough that it can be moved easily if I have an emergency. But things don't always go as planned and I can do it another day when I am feeling better and one of the boys is home.

 Matthew's roommate is home from the hospital and rehab. Matthew is glad that he is home. He wanted to come and get me last night and spend the night but I told him that I was sick. I hadn't gotten to talk to him over the weekend so he didn't know I was sick. I told him his roommate sure didn't need to be exposed to what I had just coming out of the hospital. 

 I guess I will close for now. My energy is fading fast. Jonathan is coming home for lunch in a couple of hours. I need to remind him to check the mail. My sister sent me a package. It is small enough to fit in the mail box, but he has forgotten to check the mail even tho I have reminded him about 4 times already. Sheesh his memory is getting as bad as mine lol....

 Have an awesome day to all... BB



Friday, April 6, 2018

Another Day Alone? Nope!

This page is for my sister Linda's planner. This is her mother and father in law. They are the nicest people and very loved by my sister. The name of the kits used is Spring Tea and Song of Joy  

Good Morning,
 It is really early here for me. 8:30 and it is really nice out. I thought that I was home alone again today so I hobbled into the kitchen, turned on the light and started my coffee and then heard a phone ring. I was like... that's not my phone. It was Nathan's... Today is Friday. He is home from work today and tomorrow and goes back to work on Sunday. Sheesh... Me and my memory are slowly departing! I can't seem to remember anything right now.

 Today has been a week since I lost my little Cisco. It has been a long hard week for me. I have been comforted by the thought that he isn't in pain anymore. He was just so precious and he was loved and not just by me. Everyone who met him thought that he was a great dog. I just miss him so very much. I hated leaving him for any length of time because he would get so depressed. Jonathan bought a new laser light for him while I was in Florida to pep him up. He used to love chasing it around the house. I noticed that Jonathan has the light on his key chain now. I guess it is way of comfort.

 I am very tired because I sat up late last night reading. Jonathan and I after dinner both sat at the table reading. He went to bed as soon as he got home from picking Nathan up from work. But I was up an hour or so longer. I woke up this morning with a pain in my ankle and in my wrist. This is usually a sign of a Fibromyalgia attack for me. I got up and took my medicine just in case. It will relax me and make me sleepy but I will fight it for as long as I can. It is usually caused by stress and I have been stressed this week so I shouldn't have been surprised to have this flare up. Especially since I take my medication at night before bed. I am glad I have it. If I didn't have it I would be in terrible pain and have swollen red joints all over so thankfully this medication really helps me a lot.

 I had another lovely email from the lady that took Cisco. I talked to my manager here and she was going to find out if I had to put up another pet deposit if I got another pet and no I don't have to. That is good! Also I had asked her if she would be interested in some business cards and the post cards that explain the process since we have so many people here with pets and she said yes, she would make copies and put on the doors and she would put the business cards and post cards in the new residents packages. So I emailed the lady, her name is Karen by the way and she said she would be delighted in bringing some and taking to the office. I will go as well and meet her there.

 I am doing this because of several reasons. First of all, It is much more gentle than regular cremation and costs so much less. The pet cemetery is $400.00 and I have talked to a lady years ago when I had lost my Duchess and she told me that they actually bury all of the animals they have together. They dig a hole and put them all in and cover them up. 
 Now this was years ago but I think that is just wrong. My husband called a friend who took Duchess out to the family farm and buried her. He put huge stones on top of the grave so that coyotes wouldn't get to her.
 The second reason is I believe in being good to the earth. Toxins and emissions are terrible for our planet and if I can do my part then I find comfort in that. 

 Oh I do believe that I am having a Fibro flare up. Now the pain is up to my elbow and I am still hurting. The medicine hasn't had time to stop the pain just yet. I will have to have breakfast soon. I just hate clamoring around in the kitchen while Nathan is sleeping. He has problems falling asleep and has since he was a baby. He didn't fight it, he just couldn't sleep. He is lucky if he sleeps 3 or 4 hours a night. Anyway I will have to eat something because if this keeps up I will have to have a pain pill and it will make me sick if I take it on an empty stomach. Coffee isn't the answer lol.

 I called and I rescheduled my appointment for my blood work a day before my eye injection so I don't have to worry about going after the eye injection. They really are accommodating at this clinic. I really like it a lot better than the one I use to go to. 
 This one is also to check my potassium levels again. I told my heart doctor about how high my potassium was in Florida and asked what caused that and he said it is to do with the kidney. If it builds up it can cause kidney failure. He said that I should have gone to the doctor or hospital. I said well kind of hard since I was in Florida and we had no idea where to go. But now Edna and I do know where to go. We went to mail a package and the hospital was right there where we made the turn to go in. We took a left to get to the little mail place and the hospital was on the right.....  I also checked with my insurance and I am covered Nation Wide if I am out of my area for vacation or something so that is good. I just know that they would have admitted me and I didn't feel bad. Anyway as soon as I got home I went and had the tests and it had stabilized on it's own. I just have to watch eating foods with potassium and I can't believe how much is in a lot of foods. It seems that I cannot eat anything anymore without breaking some kind of "Your not supposed to have that" rule. Well geeze...
 They took my spinach away, my avocados, cheese and dairy, peanut butter, and a whole lot of my favorite foods that I could have with my diabetes diet.

 Oh I have good news. I got the lab results back on my biopsy's and they are benign so I was very happy to hear that. The one on my nose is a skin cancer, but it is a common one that the treatment for that type is to freeze it. Every day it scabs over a bit more. It will probably be healed by the end of the coming week.

 Well it is 72F degrees outside with a humidity level of 88% and cloudy. Our high is to reach 88F degrees today with a 20% chance of rain. Tomorrow is supposed to be cooler. My discount for the Electric doesn't kick in until June so I am trying to be efficient with the A/C  but this humidity really makes it hard to stay cool without it. We would be miserable by noon if we didn't have it on now. 
 Gosh I remember growing up that we kept our windows open up to June. We moved around a lot and most of the time we just had a water cooler that blew water mist all over everything and everyone but we were thankful for it. And I never turned our A/C on  until June 1st up until I moved to Arkansas. It was very hot and humid there. Worse than here and the mosquitos were huge blood suckers. But here we have had the A/C on and off for a few months now. Sometimes the days would just be so warm and others were cold. But it is so expensive to run all year around. 
 I remember going up to Colorado for my nieces wedding in 1998 and it was so hot that everyone's make up was melting and our clothing was sticking to us. But my brother said that July was a anomaly and that they never had to have A/C. The next year they bought their first window unit. The next year they bought 2 more.
 I don't know how people stand this kind of humidity and heat. I have never gotten use to it. The desert was hot for sure. But it was a dry heat and I didn't sweat. It was so hot that the moisture evaporated fast. I was able to adapt to that kind of heat. At night the temps would drop down to 100 degrees and if I was outside long enough I would need a shawl or a throw or a sweater to keep the chill off sometimes when I lived in the foot hills. But here is different. It is hot and the humidity is high. I can shower and come out sweating. 

 Time to find something to eat. You all have a fabulous day and take care of yourself. I am going to try and think positive today. I have cried so much that I really need to try and do something. If the pain in my hand and wrist goes away I might color today. That would be something that I enjoy and take my mind off of things. 

 Have a great Friday..... BB

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Home Alone

 This picture is of my grandchildren sitting in a field of Blue Bonnets. The ribbon and bits and bobs are of the mixed variety from free sites when I first learned to scrap.

 Today I had my 6 months follow up with my cardiologist. He said that he would see me in a year unless I had a reason to come in sooner. So that was good news to me.

 Yesterday evening Jonathan and I went to the library. On the way we were able to see lots of blue bonnets, buttercups, primrose and an awesome rainbow. 
 We talked about Cisco on the drive. I didn't cry but my heart was heavy as I looked at the rainbow and thought of the poems and messages I have received on Facebook and private messages. The Rainbow Bridge. I still cannot believe that my little boy is not here. Tomorrow will be my first day home alone. 
 I won't have his little paw pawing me for his treat or to take him out or to pick him up and put on my bed or a million other little things that we did on our days home alone. 
 I know that a lot of people are finding me quiet. I am not really into talking much on the phone right now, or working on scrap pages or doing much of anything at the moment. 
 I hope that my friends understand this. I withdraw sometimes and right now I am hibernating and healing. In time I will be wanting to talk on the phone and scrap some pages and so forth, but not right now.
 My brother's one year anniversary is coming up on the 20th. That is not going to be easy to get thru either. But I know I will. It is just the way that I deal with some things. I talk until I run out of words, and I cry until there are not so many tears left and then I hunker down and hibernate with my own thoughts and memories. 
 Then one morning I will get up and it will be the start of a new day.

 I got a couple of books from the library that should keep me busy. I have several more doctor appointments to get thru. I have to change one appointment on the 26th as I have a doctors appointment at 9 in the morning for blood work and an eye injection at 10 and I cannot be in both places at once since they are across town from one another. I will call and see if they can reschedule the 9 o'clock appointment until after my eye injection. It is just for labs for my yearly physical. I can come in for that after the eye injection but I have my physical for May 3rd and they want my blood work back. It makes better sense to me to just reschedule both appointments because the eye injections really hurt and I had to have one done and then go to the doctor when I had that nasty boil and it was really hard on me. I know that I would rather just come home and lay down in a dark room and try to sleep so I will be giving them a call in the morning. Jonathan has already taken time off of work to take me for the eye injection so I need to keep that one for sure.

 I suppose where they took the mole and the thing on my inner thigh is healing because it is itching really bad. The one on my breast is really super sore. Where they froze the spot on my nose is itchy too and flakes of the old skin is coming off. I have to set up my portal with them and will do that tomorrow so I can get my lab results. I need to set up the portal to my heart doctor too. The receptionist asked if I wanted the appointment today or wait about 8 months. I said wait. Who knows what can and will happen in a year.

 I am getting hungry so I think that I will get off here and find something to eat and go and read. In the morning I plan to have my morning coffee out on the patio if it is warm enough. I could always wrap up in my robe but it was Cisco's favorite and still has his scent. It would just cause me to cry so I am hoping that I will have a warm morning to start the day.... 

 You all have a great Thursday. Take care of yourself and remember to love and be kind to one another.... Hugs to all.... BB


Tuesday, April 3, 2018

A Bit Drabby Here

Another gorgeous kit from my friend Rosie to our scrap group. This one is called Violette. Thank you for looking. The image is from a free site.

Good Morning,

 I hope that this finds you doing well. I am ok. I am having my good moments and my bad moments. It is normal I suppose to feel this way. I have tried to keep busy at times, and at others I just give in to the grief and cry myself to sleep. 
 I received some emails from the lady that took care of Cisco. I want to share a bit of one with you....

Hi Beth,
How are you doing today? I hope that you had as peaceful as possible of an Easter weekend. I know how hard it is when the routine changes and you are missing your sweet Cisco.

Words are never enough to make anyone feel better after losing a pet. I’ve never been very good about the whole cycle of grief that we are “supposed” to go through. I tend to just keep taking it day by day until time makes it a little less hard. My Miles passed in January and it still bothers me. There is no right or wrong way to feel about this. Take your time and take care of yourself. One thing that I have found very helpful is to write a letter to my pet. I write it all down – the good, the sad, did I miss something, describe their personality, my feelings, everything. When I go back and read it, I sometimes remember things I forgot. Not that I would ever forget my pet! But a little detail about that last day or something about their personality that I hadn’t thought about it in long time will come back to me.

The rain from last week turned our yard into a jungle. My husband needs to mow and tame it so we can send you photos. I’m going to scatter Cisco and another little dog in a few days when they are both done drying. I’ll send you pictures as soon as possible. For now, I hope it gives you comfort that he is going where there is lots of shade, it’s quiet, and we have lots of birds, squirrels and other wildlife. We have a family of cardinals that stay year round and a couple of wrens who just came back to their birdhouse to build their spring nest. 

I won't share the rest of the email's or the rest of this one, but I thought that you might enjoy reading this portion. It really is kind of her to email me. Not often do I see this kind of kindness and generosity for someone to take their personal time to sit down and to email me. 

 Yesterday I had an appointment with a dermatologist who looked at some spots that I have that has been worrying me. I have a skin cancer on my nose so she froze it and said that it might turn very pink and red and it might even turn black and not to worry.
 The one on the side of my breast was a mole I had from birth and it had to come off as it has been itching and the one on my inner thigh as well. We are not sure what that one is. It isn't a mole, but probably some kind of wart. She asked if I spent much time in the lake and I said "Every Summer" and she said that is where that one probably came from. 
 I should have the biopsy's back in a couple of weeks. She said if they all turned out well then she would see me back in a year unless something else comes up. 
 I use body moisturizing cream but she said my skin was really dry and sent me home with a large bag of goodies. One of them I used a lot when I lived in the desert but started using something different when I moved to Texas. I am not sure why but I will probably start using it again. 

 I barely felt the numbing. It was fast and quick and over before I could blink. Same with taking them off. But boy oh boy did I bleed. Like a stuck pig I did. Jonathan took me over to Walgreen's last night so I could get some better band aids and while I was there I picked up some more tissues. Puff's this time. They were on sale for .79 cents a box. I got the last 2 that they had that did not have lotion. I do not like the ones containing lotion. It leaves me feeling like I have something on my hands and nose and mouth. I prefer just the plain kind and I do like Puff's.

 It has been drabby and gray here today. Hopefully the sun will come out soon. We had another cold front to move in and the warmer moisture from Mexico mixed with the colder air from up north. It caused a lot of rain last week. We are supposed to have some severe storms again tomorrow. I really hope that they will move in and out quickly. Last week, some places got over 5 inches of rain. I thought that we would just get a tiny bit but it turned out that we got a lot of rain.

 Karyn and Joe have planted their orange and lime trees on Saturday. Karyn said they had a great time in doing so and planning a spring patio. I really wish that we could get more sunlight here at our place but I can stick to a little morning sun and be happy. I have cilantro, basil, thyme and oregano ready to put in little pots soon.
 I found a gorgeous fern for a hanging pot that I really loved and one with petunia's as well.
 Yesterday at the doctor's office they had the most gorgeous red roses. Across the street the azalea's were in full bloom. They were light pink, not the dark pink like we had in Florida but they were still pretty. I stopped and got a sandwich and I shared with the birds. They seemed happy to get little tidbits here and there.

 I guess I had better close for now. I want to share one more thing that was given to me on my Facebook page for Cisco....

 I hope that you enjoy this as much as I did.... Hugs to all BB

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