Love

 Good Morning,
 It is a little after 6:00 in the morning and I have been up since around 3:00 or 3:30.
 I went to sleep yesterday evening right after dinner. I slept deeply and only awoke to go to the bathroom and then back to bed. I did awake to Laurie and to Cathy checking on me but was able to roll right back to sleep.
 My doctors have urged me to sleep when I can. I am still not feeling my best and they tell me that my body needs the sleep.
 Of course I didn't rest much while in the hospital. Laurie said because of all the background noise but that wasn't all of it. I don't think that anyone rests when they are not at home in their own surroundings with our own background noises. I have to say that I really am glad to be home but I might have rushed it along more than I should have done.

 My friend Kay, I call her my adopted sister, she lost her brother Monday. I planted some wildflowers for him and lit a candle. I spent a great deal of time thinking of my own brother and I miss him so much. 
 I know that this is going to be hard for Kay. She sent me some texts recalling some wonderful memories and I wish that I felt like going to Tennessee to be with her. Of course she would not want me to travel right now but I told her I am with her in heart and spirit. 
 I wish I could think of something that would help her right now but I know that this is something that she is going to need from her family. The support and and love. She knows she has mine. 

 I am drinking my second cup of coffee this morning and after it is done I think that I will try and go back to sleep. 
 Laurie bought me some of my favorite, Southern Pecan and I have to admit that I am really enjoying it. 
 My granddaughter Cathy and I have tea every afternoon. She told me the other day that she enjoys this time with me and it makes my heart smile. 
 I want to make as many good memories with these kiddos that I can. 
They are a wonderful little family and I enjoy being able to be a part of their lives. I know that these moments are fleeting because they are going to be moving back to California I think in a few weeks.
 They have been looking at houses here but I told them the other day that if David cannot get the medical care he needs here then they should think of moving to where he can.

 When he was in Afghanistan a IED blew up and the man has shrapnel imbedded in different parts of his body. I talked him into going to my pain management team and I am seriously shocked that all they want to do is more surgery.
 The first few months that he was here they put him thru 16 different surgeries that have done nothing but make the pain worse. They cannot remove the shrapnel. It's located in parts of his back and close to his spine and he has discs that are collapsing and disintegrating. 
 I have seen him in so much pain that I just want to cry because I feel so helpless when he falls and cannot get up. Or the pain just riddles his body in spasms. 
 I really hate Texas Health Care that does not take care of our Veterans. 
 The Opioid addiction is just bullshit when it comes to people that need them. The Republicans have written these laws that make it impossible to receive pain medication in Texas. Basically you have to have Cancer in order to get any kind of treatment and even that has become limited. 
 No one wants to be stoned out of our mind. We just want to be able to control the hard pain and make it thru the day without being in so much pain that makes movement so hard that you cannot live a decent day.
 He had a fairly good day on Tuesday but paid for it the next day. I could see the pain etched into his face at every little movement. Laurie helped him with a shower and alternated heating pads and ice packs. I told him to call his doctor and he did but the doctor never called him back.

 Jonathan is getting ready to go to work and I need for him to go to the store for me so I will close for now and get on with my day. You all have a Blessed day and take care of yourself... All my love to you all. Hugs, BB